


Time Goes On

by Ravestablood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, I'm Sorry, Loki - Freeform, M/M, Pagan Gods, Pagan!verse, Trickster Gabriel, inaccurate history, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10826055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravestablood/pseuds/Ravestablood
Summary: This is a work I did a year ago I never published, and is not really finished. Let me know if you want more!AU where Sam and Dean are pagan gods. Sam is the god of fertility, growth and protection and is mated to Loki (who is still an archangel). However, something goes terribly wrong and Gabriel is left to contemplate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently I was a better writer a year and a half ago than I am now. Here's a crap piece of work I did a while ago that was never finished. 
> 
> This is a Pagan!AU that I created. It is one of the works I did that I am actually a fan of. 
> 
> If anyone is interested in me continuing this please let me know! Thank you for everyone giving me their support, it is very appreciated :)

Nothing in the world is harder to deal with than losing a loved one. Gabriel knows this more than most. People have tried to tell him that time can heal anything, but after millennia of that deep lingering pain in his Grace, he has found that time just makes things worse. No matter how many flings he has with other gods or how many bastards he kills, Gabriel always has _him_ on his mind.

 

Every since _his_ murder, the Trickster has had this everlasting rage simmering beneath his chest. It has turned him more cruel and unforgiving to whoever he decides to take his anger out on. He hates himself for it. Gabriel knows that _he_ wouldn't approve of his current ways. No one really did, but _his_ opinion was the only one that mattered.

 

 _'Not anymore'_ Gabriel thought bitterly. He had been thinking about _him_ more; today was the anniversary of _his_ death. Every year on this day he would visit his lover's memorial deep in the Norwegian mountains. It was a large boulder-like stone with _his_ sigil carved on the front; a beautiful tree with intricate branches and roots curled and connecting in a beautiful design. Gabriel bore a necklace of the same design that he always kept hidden under his clothes. It was simple and made of brass, but he treasured it more than anything else. Behind the stone was a huge willow tree. Its long vine-like branches gave off a magick-like aura of peace and tranquillity. It seemed to glow in the dim light of the evening.

 

Gabriel delicately ran his hand down the sigil and felt the power beneath it. A deep _thum_ ran through his body and he almost wept at how similar it was to _his_ power. But he didn't. His face was hard with no emotion like it normally was when he thought about _him_. Below it was offerings that other gods had left: flowers, foods and carvings were some that lay on the ground. He himself would never leave anything, there was no object important enough that would show how much he loved _him_.

 

He couldn't take it anymore. Gabriel's resolve broke and he fell to his knees before the memorial. His face scrunched up in pain and misery, having gone too long without his lover. Head tipping back, Gabriel opened his mouth and released a long, mournful wail. Salty tears fell from his eyes and spilt onto the offerings. He leant forward so his hands and forehead were resting on the stone as the Archangel continued to sob.

 

One name fell out of his lips like a mantra, _SamSamSamSamSamSamSam._

 

_2000 years ago_

 

“Loki!” Sam giggled as Loki spotted kisses at the junction of his neck. His lover was very ticklish, and he loved exploiting that as much as he could. Sam's giggles grew into full blown laughter as Loki lightly dug his fingers into his sides.

 

“Loki! Loki! Stop it!” Sam protested as he halfheartedly tried to push the Trickster off of him. “Don't you have work to do?” Loki groaned loudly into his mate's neck. He was right, as usual.

 

“I'd rather spend time with you.” Loki seized his tickling and instead wrapped his arms around his muscular husband. He had a rather long list of people he needed to punish but he didn't want to pull himself away from Sam.

 

“You can spend time with me later. You don't want to upset Coyote, now, do you?” Stilling his muscles, Loki took his head out from Sam's neck and rested his chin on his shoulder instead. Letting out a brief sigh, he titled his head to meet his lover's eyes.

 

Coyote was very adamant about Tricksters not skiving off their duties. He wasn't the leader of the Trickster gods, no one was, but he was the oldest of all of them (he was the one to initiate Gabriel into Paganism, thinking that the Archangel had the heart and attitude to be one of them. He wasn't older than Gabriel himself, not even close, but he outdated him as far has being a Trickster). Coyote would not be happy if Loki neglected his work.

 

Loki nodded, releasing Sam from his hold. He gave him a long, passion-filled kiss and then pulled away. “Alright,” he said. “you win.” Sam smiled at him.

 

“I love you, Loki.” The Trickster smirked then lightly slapped the other's behind.

 

“Love you too, Sammy-boy.” Sam laughed as Loki disappeared. It was no surprise to anyone that the two loved each other very much.

 

“You two are disgusting.” Sam jumped and whipped around to see Dean standing behind him. He was too caught in a haze to sense him coming, and therefore he was caught by surprise.  
  
“Dean!” Sam placed his hands on his hips and glared at his brother.  


“What? You know it's true.” Dean said in his defence. As much as it was amusing to tease his younger brother, he is genuinely grossed out when he sees both Loki and Sam together. “I'm surprised you and him are still together. I can never stand being around that god for more than five minutes, nonetheless be in a committed relationship with him.”

 

“We've had this conversation before, Dean. I'm not having it again.” Sam sighed in exasperation.

 

“I'm just saying, Sam, I don't like the guy. You know his reputation, brother. One day he is going to up and leave you.” Dean said. He didn't want to hurt his little brother, but someone had to tell him.

 

“I love him and he loves me! Why can't you see that?” Sam turned sharply away from Dean. He would never leave Sam alone about this.

 

“Sam—“

 

“No, Dean! I know what he's like, trust me, I know! But around me, he isn't like that, he's so kind to me, brother! So please, I beg you, stop trying to make me turn away from him!” Without any warning, Sam disappeared, leaving his brother standing alone. Dean sighed, before he, too, disappeared.

 

* * *

 

Sam later appeared in one of his villages. He was the god of fertility, growth and protection, and it was his duty to ensure his people were safe and taken care of. He made his way to a small hut on the outskirts of the particular village he was in. Inside was a young child sick from the flu and was unlikely to survive the illness. Sam could hear the desperate prayers of the child's mother in his mind.

 

Invisible to the human eye, Sam entered the house and saw a deathly pale little girl. She was young and frail and her breathing came out in irregular hitches. Without his help, he knew she would perish. He leaned over her and gently placed two fingers on the forehead of the young one.

 

“It's not your time.” The god whispered. Healing her restored the colour in her skin and her breathing returned to normal. The mother gasped and instantly leapt up to hug her daughter.

 

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Though she couldn't see him, Sam smiled before he disappeared once again. He continued helping around different villages before he felt the tug of a familiar summoning. A huge grin split Sam's face when he realised it was Loki calling him.

 

Appearing in front of his beloved, Sam jumped into Loki's arms. If he were mortal, the Trickster would have definitely buckled under his mate's heavy form. But he wasn't, so he happily spun Sam in his arms and let out a joyous laugh.

 

“I missed you today,” Loki said earnestly, staring into his lover's beautiful hazel eyes. “I got distracted multiple times today because of it!” Sam quickly pecked his husband's lips.

 

“I missed you as well. Dean and I got into another fight.” Sam sighed sadly. Loki wrapped the other into a large hug. He knew that Sam hated fighting with his brother, and it made him feel even worse that he was the reason they were fighting.

 

“Are you alright?” Sam gave him a sad smile, but nodded his head.

 

“Yes. I've spent the day trying to get it out of my head, but I'm alright now. How about we go do something? I hear there is a festival happening further up north that have these sweet sugar buns that I think you would love. We should attend!” Sam's quick change in emotion worried Loki. He didn't like Sam changing the subject that quickly, but put on a brave face.

 

“Sure thing, Sammy.”

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel remembers how Sam died. It pains him, how he wasn't able to protect the only thing he loved.

 

It was an ordinary day, Sam was off answering prayers and Loki was causing mayhem to those who deserved it. It wasn't until Loki got a sharp pain in his chest when he realised something was wrong.

 

Sam was always a peaceful god, never demanded sacrifices or offerings from any of his people like many other gods do. He was so kind and generous. His Sam didn't deserve the fate that he got.

 

The god of protection was going about his daily routine. He was healing a dying newborn when he felt a tug. He was being summoned.

 

Landing in a sigil, Sam saw a man in front of him on his knees. When his feet touched the ground, the man looked up and gasped.

 

“You're here! You actually came! I need your help!” The man whimpered, in tears. Sam smiled warmly.

 

“Of course, what do you need?” The man's crying suddenly stopped. His face turned devious and his mouth curled into a cruel smile. Sam's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. He opened his mouth to voice it, but was silenced when he felt something ram through his chest.

 

He looked down, seeing a bloody stake pointing out between his ribs. The person behind him retracted the stake and moved in front of Sam.

 

“No...” He gurgled, blood rushing through his throat as he fell to his knees. “Why?” The two in front of him frowned angrily.

 

“You heathen!” The one who stabbed him spoke. “Our God is the only god!” He lurched forward, again, and the stake ran through all the way to his heart.

 

As Sam dropped to his side, he glanced up at his murderers, and with his last breath, he closed his eyes and uttered, “Loki,”. His body fell lax, and the god of protection, fertility and growth was no more.

 

* * *

 

 

Loki was going about his usual business when he felt a searing sharp pain in his chest. Something was wrong, very wrong. And it had to do with Sam.

 

His eyes widened. The Trickster quickly appeared next to Sam's side, only to find his lover dead on the ground.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of positive feedback on this so I decided to spend my entire Saturday writing this! I really hope this keeps up with standards. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for your support and I hope you like this!

Gabriel would stay at that memorial for hours. When he left, it was very hard for him to come back, but when he was there, it was even harder for him to leave.

 

The pain was too strong – however long ago the memory was. It was an image that was burned into his mind forever. He remembers killing the offenders in a fit of rage. He was too distraught to make them suffer, and he had half a mind later to bring them back just to make them pay.

 

But he knew it would change nothing. Sam was gone, the light of his long existence was extinguished forever and there was nothing anyone could do about it. The only possible solution was his Father, but he had abandoned the Host long ago.

 

Tears threatened to rise again, this time not wholly for his lost lover. The absence of his Father and the longing to return to a lost home were some of the things he thought about frequently. But there was nothing he could do.

 

Gabriel felt so lost for the longest time after his Sam's death. He skirted his duties and took his rage out on innocents for a period of time. It wasn't until Dean, Sam's dear brother, talked some sense into him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Loki. I need you to talk to me.” It was a massacre, something that Gabriel now was not proud of. There was a mass of bodies sprawled across the ground, the result of an explosion of anger and sorrow that the Trickster had let loose.

 

“I have nothing to say to you, Dean.” Moving away from the scene, Loki walked in the other direction from the scrutinising god behind him. Dean huffed in exasperation.

 

“Well, then I have something to say to you!” Jaw clenching, Loki turned to see the face of an angry Dean. “You know he wouldn't approve of this,” Dean gestured to the corpses that were surrounding them.

 

“Don't you tell me what he would and wouldn't approve of,” Loki said shortly. His temper was once again slowly rising, and no matter how mad he was, he didn't want Dean to be at the tail end of it.

 

“You don't think I know? I was his brother, dammit! Don't think you're the only one who's mourning! I cared for him, we all cared for him!” Dean paused, his breaths coming out in harsh pants. The anger seemed to melt from his face, and tears began to rise in his eyes.

 

“The last time we ever talked, I yelled at him. I never even got to say goodbye...” It was then that Dean fell to his knees, sobbing. “I'm so sorry, Sammy, I'm so sorry...”

 

All of the rage that was festering inside of Loki seemed to dissipate all at once. He was being selfish, he realised. In his blindness, he had failed to see the other effects of Sam's death. His brother, the other gods, Sam's people. It wasn't only him who was suffering.

At that moment, Loki advanced towards Dean, still sobbing on the ground until he, too, fell to his knees in front of him. The other god lifted his head, tears streaming down his face from his emerald eyes.

 

Loki stretched out his arms and they embraced, both saying nothing. It was a rare sight – considering how the two of them had never gotten along. The only uniting factor they both had was the beloved Sam. Loki couldn't hold his tears for long. The anger he had felt since Sam's death had begun to fade, and it wasn't long before he was sobbing alongside Dean, who was muttering into his shoulder.

 

“I'm so sorry, Sammy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...”

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn't long after that that Dean had succumbed to his grief. The god had become reckless, not caring about his own well being. He got caught by some Christian radicals, intending on avenging his brother.

 

Gabriel sighed. He once again rubbed his hand across the tree sigil on the boulder-like stone. It was near dawn now, and he knew it was almost time for him to leave. No matter how long ago his lover's death was, the grief he had never passed.

 

He swallowed hard, once again fighting the urge to cry. Just as he was about to disappear, he felt a tug. It wasn't a summons, put a pull from his Grace. It immediately alarmed Gabriel, since he had buried his Grace in order to hide from his family, allowing them to think he was dead. So whatever this was, knew he was still alive.

 

Panicking, he immediately arrived at the location the tug was directing him towards. His sight was greeted by a harshly lit hospital room. In front of him was a blonde woman surrounded by nurses. Beside the woman was a man, most likely the father. Her hair was dishevelled and damp with sweat. There was a baby resting on her chest; clearly, the woman had just given birth.

 

Invisible to the human's eyes, he stepped forward to get a closer look. Something had happened that had drawn him here, and he wanted to know what. The newborn already had a small patch of dark hair resting atop of his head. There was something achingly familiar about the essence of this infant, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

 

Suddenly, a nurse with a small boy came into the room. The child had blonde hair and green eyes, and he, too, was very familiar. The man beside the woman smiled and picked the young boy up.

 

“Come on now, Dean. Come say hi to Sammy.”

 

Dean? Sammy? Gabriel felt something rise in his chest. He took a couple steps forward to get a closer look at the two kids. What he saw made it feel like ice was dumped on top of his head. No, this was impossible.

 

He quickly snapped himself away, back to the memorial he was pulled away from. No, this was a trick. A cruel, cruel trick. What he saw wasn't possible. For the two brothers to be reincarnated was ridiculous. They didn't have souls to pass on, their essences were supposed to go back into the earth.

 

No one was capable of doing this, except for his Father. But why? Why would his Father torture him like this? Was it punishment for leaving Heaven? He didn't understand.

 

In that moment, a soothing presence washed itself over Gabriel. No, it was a gift. Composing himself, Gabriel snapped himself back into the hospital room. Maybe this was a second chance.

 


End file.
